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Controlling people try to control others or situations. They may do so out of anxiety because they worry that if they do not maintain control, things will go wrong. Others adopt controlling behaviors to assert dominance, and this is a form of abuse. To an extent, everyone tries to control what happens in their lives. In this article, we describe s that a person is controlling and how control relates to abuse. We also look at the causes of controlling behavior and how to deal with it. A person may try to control a situation by placing themselves in charge and doing everything themselves.
A person may try to control others through manipulation, coercion, or threats and intimidation.
Someone who is controlling may want to control people close to them, such as their partner or family members. Or, they may want to gain power and control over large groups of people. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotlinea person is abusive if they use behaviors force someone into doing what they want. These behaviors can include:.
In an intimate relationship, a controlling partner may :. These abusive behaviors may appear slowly, making them difficult to detect, or they may escalate suddenly after the couple has created a strong bond. Some of these behaviors may occur, for example, in friendships, family relationships, and workplace relationships.
For some people, attempting to control situations or events is a way of coping with anxiety. For example, a person with obsessive-compulsive disorderor OCD, may need to have control over their environment or routine due to intense fears of contamination or crime. Learn more about different types of anxiety disorder. Some personality disorders can make a person more likely to use controlling behavior. Some examples include:. Personality disorders are long-term mental health conditions. Some people with BPD make ificant improvements with psychotherapy, but they may need 10 years or more of treatment before they function well in a range of relationships and at work, for example.
Abusive partners have often learned controlling behavior, and other forms of abuse, from other people. They may have grown up in an abusive household or learned from caregivers that it is their right to exert power over their partner. In these cases, it is possible for the person to change their behaviors and attitudes.
But for this to happen, the person must truly want to change and take steps to achieve it. It is crucial to note that while mental health conditions and past trauma can contribute to controlling behavior, these issues do not justify or excuse abuse. The first step is to figure out whether or not the controlling behavior is abusive. If it is not, it may be a good idea to talk to the person about their behavior. A person cannot make someone want to change their behavior. If a person attempts to talk calmly and openly with someone, and they do not listen, the person may need to distance themselves or end the relationship.
In other cases, when a person demonstrates abusive behavior, such as coercive control, it may be dangerous to confront them. The National Domestic Violence Hotline recommend creating a safety plan. It may involve:. Emotional abuse in an intimate relationship often predicts physical abuse. s that a relationship has become dangerous include :. Helplines, support groups, therapists, counselors, and a range of other resources are available to ensure that a person can leave a situation safely and recover.
To a degree, everyone wants to control what happens to them. If a relationship is unhealthy but not abusive, it may be possible for a controlling person to work on changing their behavior. However, coercive control can escalate to physical violence. It is important for people who live with a controlling or abusive person to have a plan to protect themselves so that they can leave the situation safely and recover. Coercive control is a pattern of controlling and manipulative behaviors within a relationship.
Learn the s, dangers, and how to get help here. Some s of emotional abuse include controlling, shaming, blaming, and purposely humiliating another person. Emotional abuse can occur in many…. Emotional abuse is a serious form of abuse that can have both short- and long-term effects. Learn about how to spot the s of emotional abuse and…. Giving someone the silent treatment can make them feel excluded and ignored. Find out why people do it, whether or not it is abuse, and how to respond…. How can you build and maintain a healthy romantic relationship? Medical News Today have compiled five tips backed by specialists and research to help….
How to deal with controlling people. Medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph. Definition Is it abuse? s and behaviors Causes How to respond s of danger When to seek help Summary Controlling people try to control others or situations. What does it mean to be controlling? Share on Pinterest Controlling behavior can be a form of abuse.
Is it abuse? s and behaviors of controlling people. s of danger. When to seek help. Spinach reduces colon cancer risk: Study explores how. Related Coverage. What are the s of coercive control? What are the s of emotional abuse? Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, Ph. What are the effects of emotional abuse? Is the silent treatment a form of abuse? Medically reviewed by Alexander Klein, PsyD. What makes a healthy relationship?Do you want to be controlled
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Why Anyone Would Want to Control You