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Check the Let's Talk Facebook in a couple of days to see your questions answered! We answered: "As with most things related to sex and intimacy, the key is to communicate with your partner and ask them what they like. There isn't any one way that everyone likes sex; everyone has different things that turn them on or off. If you don't feel comfortable straight away, Autostraddle has a good resource so you can match what you enjoy and what your partner enjoys.
Getting to know your own body better will help you feel more comfortable with theirs regardless of their genderbut especially with people of the same anatomy type you may gain some basic ideas of what to try! We answered: "Accept that sex is weird and funny and gross for everyone, and that's okay. It's important to try to identify the root cause of your nerves too. If you've had other sexual partners, have you felt nervous about sex with all of them?
If not, can you identify why? It's also important that your partner knows about your nerves so that they can try to accommodate them. Take it slowly. Also recognise that your partner may well feel nervous too - and that's okay!
When you have sex, you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position with your partner, so it's understandable if you feel a bit nervous. Communication is key. As with most things battling past that feeling doesn't just happen. The best way is to communicate your difficulty with your partner and try be as honest and open as possible. It's a two way street too. If you are finding it tough to talk about, they might also be having similar feelings but handling them differently, or the same.
Establishing a good basis for honest communication takes time and practice. Try listening to The Sex Wrap podcast and watching Sexplanations YouTube videos - both are great at removing the awkwardness from sex conversations. By law, both you and your partner must be over 16 and consent to the sexual activity. For example, sex can involve sex toys, fingering, stroking, kissing, touching, licking, and much more.
You can also have sex with a partners vagina, or anus using fingers and toys. We answered: "There is this misconception around anal and vaginal sex; that the first time hurts.
When aroused, the clitoris and penis get hard and the vagina walls smooth out and stretch. With regards to penis or sex toy etc. Hense, sometimes vaginal sex might be painful. Using a water-based lubricant can help increase pleasure. Some people use saliva as their lubricant, but it is more watery than slippery and dries out quickly. One surprising benefit of a bit of lubrication?
It can prevent infections. Friction from lube-less sex causes heat which encourages bacterial growth; so the less friction and the more lube! Speaking of, less friction means you're less likely to break a condom, so lube can help prevent an "oops" moment later on. With anal sex, this again should not have to be painful first time.
Instead you should work your way up, relaxing the anus, breathing and exploring with a pinky finger after a soapy shower.
Again, the more lube the better! Want to help answer people's questions? campaigns warwicksu.
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